I struggle with a porn addiction, which is the result of having far too much alone time in my adolescence and plenty of curiosity.
I began watching it in fifth grade, and continued until this day. It’s something I would say hasn’t affected my social or personal life at all, but always festers itself in the back of my mind as unsavory. Perhaps it has to do with the idea that porn degrades women, or perhaps that it’s vile in the eyes of most religions. But whatever it is to everyone else in the world, to me it’s just like cigarettes. You don’t think about why you’re smoking them, you just do. Ironically, I’ve tried cigarettes on multiple occasions, I’d say I’ve smoked enough to get me addicted, but it never caught. It may seem weird, even offensive to most people if I outright told them about it without any context. However understanding the context gives the listener the key to one of my deepest flaws. I’ve always strived to be a noble person in all aspects, and perhaps it is in direct contradiction, or repents, for my addiction.
I take some solace in the fact that, upon discussion with a number of my male friends, it’s rather common.
But still my upbringing denies me any refuge from criticizing myself for it.
However I was once told that the only way to vanquish demons is to put them in the light, and that’s what I’m intending to do. We all have our demons and this is part of who I am.
#tbt to when I took this little lady to prom @yukamagata right next to when I took this big guy to Mexico @nicsscrowley (at Africa)
Raw beef and authentic Japanese BBQ with my old lady #love #food and #sonsofanarchy (at Hakata Yamaya)